Helen Grace Loss Assessor & Keeper of the
Stockpile of Human Devaluation

Sentiment Measurement

Methods & Evaluation — Summary

1. Tissue Sampling & Material Extraction

The most efficient method for extracting the required material for sentiment measurement is via the fantasy extraction process, first established in the seventeenth century. Although more modern technological processes are now involved, the essential method does not vary and indeed in several laboratories, the original machines are still in operation. Results indicate that they are still in excellent working order and the quality of samples extracted through this process is still considered the finest available.

Figure 1. The fantasy extraction apparatus in operation

2. Scientific Measurement and Analysis of Samples

Tissue samples are subject to strict laboratory measurement and analysis using electron microscopy. The samples are carefully tested and the results subject to statistical analysis. Because sentiment measurement is an imprecise science prone to a high degree of subjectivity, in the hands of amateurs and the unqualified, laboratory testing is able to guarantee that objective outcomes are achieved in the majority of cases.

Figure 2 A sentiment tester at work.

Figure 3. Statistical analysis of sentiment readings

3. Evaluation of Results

After adequate scientific testing the sentiment readings are evaluated by a highly qualified review committee. The committee attempts to rank the quantitative data against the qualitative data produced in interviews with the subjects, peer review reports and analysis of information obtained in their risk profiles, including visual analysis of their body language, gathered during the observation process. When all material has been fully analysed, the tendering process is able to reach objective decisions and to exercise quality control. Unsuccessful subjects are required to undergo re-education and are encouraged to submit themselves to further testing and evaluation.

Figure 4. Committee exercising quality control