Simon Poulter
Systems Analyst

Subject: Re: DEC 18th 2001 UPDATE
Date: Sat, 22 Dec 2001 12:23:36 -0800
From: simon poulter


Following our Christmas Party in the Department of Global Disenchantment, we experienced a small fire. This was due to a human failure. We are investigating how this could happen. A small amount of a class 'A' drug was found above the departmental toilet. Also a quantity of sperm was discovered near the toilet bowl itself along with a discarded 'Sydney Big Boy Banana' condom. This has caused some concern. We have now compiled samples of pubic hair from these appliances and will be carrying out DNA tests on all staff on their return to work in the New Year.

May I thank you all for your contributions to Mrs Maidment's gift. As you know she has been with us now for 18 years, a period in which she has meticulously cleaned and scoured our offices. Your donations have enabled us to present her with a bouquet, the complete works of James Joyce and a cheese board. Mrs Maidment has asked me to pass on her thanks to everyone at ICOLS for their generosity and good spirit at this important time. Please note that the Turkey deliveries will now take place on Monday.